Louis C.K.

We already knew the guy was funny, but now he's got a new series coming out on HBO called Lucky Louie, and his interview on last night's Daily Show was incredibly funny. Go watch it HERE immediately.


And while we're at it, if you appreciate the Colbert Report (and why wouldn't you? It's brilliant) you may have seen at one point or another the recurring segment called "Formidable Opponent" during which Stephen debates a current topic with someone with the "sharpest of minds, and biggest of balls," himself. Here's the clip from last night's show. JUST WATCH. You'll thank me.

Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger: Frozen Treats

A big tip of the hat to Wawa and their decision to put a f'Real Milkshake machine in each one of their brilliantly convenient stores. These little guys are not only fun to make, they are actually really good. I think the vanilla trumps the chocolate, but that's just me. What a great way to gain back all the weight you lost sweating your ass off doing menial monkey-work for your local school district.




Today's wag of the finger goes to the clowns over at Good Humor for thinking they could encapsulate and mass produce the brilliance of soft serve ice cream. I had the pleasure of witnessing a friend shovel this mess down his piehole during a particularly inebriated evening and just had to try it. Needless to say, not only is this filth a horrible excuse for drunk food, it's also just gross. Also, why does the "extreme" marketing craze have to show up on this container? The "Mega Cup?" First of all, this container is no bigger than a normal pint of Ben & Jerry's, but even if it was, are we celebrating our ability down a vat of artificial, fattening shit? You decide. As a side note though, this stuff is actually healthier than those milkshakes.

New Music from the Alternative Scene

Now that I assume all of my loyal readers have watched the BMX documentary, here's something equally boring. The following is a short list of seven albums I've acquired in the past month or so that I had previously been anticipating for more than a year. I'm not now, nor have I have I ever been in the business of rating music, so what I'm going to do is list the albums in descending order from most disapointing to most worthy of buying immediately and then proceeding to give my humble opinion as to why said albums either suck or rock really hard. It goes as follows:

7. Thursday - A City By the Light Divided
My problem with Thursday has remained constant for as long as I've been a fan of their music. I argue that their status as pioneers of popular-hardcore music causes the band to be much too pretentious for their own good. Lyrically, they focus too much on sounding revolutionary and not enough time making music people are going to enjoy. As leaders of the emo-core underground, when Thursday writes a song like Jet Black New Year or Understanding in a Car Crash you can actually picture a long-haired emo kid sitting in his room believing the words contemplating slitting his wrists. Unbelievably, this is where Thursday is at their best, musically--when they are trying to appeal to the appropriate audience...although I don't condone the whole emo-kid image. This is also where City falls short. There are considerably less hooks on this album than in past work and much more trite lyrics.
Suggested Track - Counting 5,4,3,2,1

6. Less Than Jake - In With the Out Crowd
Ouch. Did you feel that? It's a sharp pain in my side. Did I really just rank my boys sixth on a countdown of seven? Sure, why the fuck not? I've given this album about twenty listens thinking the band would eventually take their rightful place atop my iPod most played list, but something in this, the band's latest release causes it to fall by the wayside in comparison to their past work. Ever the punk-rock stalwarts, though, this album is not a lost cause. There are several noteworthy tracks, including the hit single Overrated. The problem, to me, resides in the level of production put into this album. Sonically, yes, the music sounds like quite the departure from their original ska sound, and yes their prior release Anthem was the same way. However, where Out Crowd falls, to me, is in its overemphasis on sounding more mature. At the end of the day Less Than Jake makes ska music, which isn't supposed to sound manufactured like say, Fall Out Boy. Lyrically the album is still strong, which is a testament to the band's never-ending love for their music and fans. Still, the rest of this list is far too strong to get LTJ any higher than 6 in this countdown.
Suggested Tracks: Let Her Go, Hopeless Case

5. NoFx - Wolves in Wolves' Clothing
It's no surprise that NoFx has put out yet another album that appeals to me. They've gotten extremely political with their last few releases like The War on Errorism and Never Trust a Hippie, attacking W and the current administration with absolute fervor. Needless to say, I've been a supporter of their music. This album is no different. It is fast-paced in the way only NoFx could be and lyrically insane in a style only Fat Mike could write. Attacking the entire South for example, Fat Mike writes:

We call the heartland not very smart land
IQ's are very low but threat levels are high
They got a mandate, they don't want man-dates
they got so many hates and people to despise
In the dust bowl, cerebral black hole
the average weight is well over 200 pounds
I hate to generalize, but have you seen the thighs
most haven't seen their genitalia in a while
No longer svelte, they gotta punch new holes in the Bible belt

The only problem with this album is that it's deceptively short at about 45 minutes for 19 songs because it contains some b-side stuff and other skit-type bullshit.
Suggested tracks: The Marxist Brothers, 100 Times Fuckeder

4. Taking Back Sunday - Louder Now
The problem as I see it, is as follows: In past albums, TBS's chief song writer Adam Lazarra was so pent up with anger and bitter rage with so many people that his words and music were so hard and cynical that you had no choice but to love them if you were just as bitter and cynical. In Louder Now some big label producer said "Hey Adam, can you write us some more of those bitter lyrics about wanting to kill girls and stuff, that shit really sells" so he did it. The good thing? He's still got it, however forced the lyrics sound. The selling point for Taking Back Sunday used to be that they were saying the things that we as adolescents could only have wished to articulate through our angst. Now not only have we the fans grown up but so has the band and I'm sure TBS and Lazarra have far less reasons for fist fights versus fences as we should too. As collateral damage, the bands musicianship has gotten a lot better and so now even if the lyrics are a little forced you're still left with a hard-rocking poppy album that will leave you pumped albeit a little dissapointed. This is a milestone album for the band though, having received so much mainstream attention recently as the scene has grown. Expect them to bounce back even higher for their next release.
Suggested tracks: Make Damn Sure, Twenty-Twenty Surgery

3. Saves the Day - Sound the Alarm
I'll admit, I'm biased. For one reason or another I've been on a Saves the Day rampage since about March, listening to at least one StD album every couple of days since that time. I'm not sure what happened, I guess I just felt like I'd neglected them in the past few years since their departure from "old" Saves the Day. See, in late 2003 the band had put out an album so far removed from their early Through Being Coolish emo-punk days that my brother actually liked their album. The album, appropriately titled In Reverie was ultimately poppy but with a toned down core and softer vocals. Long-time fans were pissed to say the least. I still ejoyed it, but I understood the trash-talkers' points. Punk kids are incredibly closed-minded. Then something interesting happened. The entire band quit and Chris Conley was left to pick up the pieces of his band. Enter Vagrant, where the band had originally signed back in 2001, who offered the "new-old" Saves the Day (Chris and 3 new guys) a contract to start back up and pick up where 2001's Stay What you Are had left off. And so they did. My favorite part about this album is that they kick of track 1 with some hard chords to restablish their non-pussy edge and recapture the old StD sound. Boo and Yah.
Suggested tracks: Head for the Hills (track 1), Dying Day

2. Gnarls Barkley - St.Elsewhere
Oh you've never heard of Gnarls Barkley? Why the hell not? This isn't my pretentious pick, because they've been going pretty mainstream lately. I mean, they did play at the MTV Movie Awards, everyone dressed in a different Star Wars costume. Anyway, Gnarls Barkley is yet another creation by our man DJ Danger Mouse, who became a big name with his 2004 Grey Album which matched up Jay-Z's Black Album with selections from the Beatles White album. Then he helped mastermind the excellent 2005 Gorillaz release Demon Days. A white kid from White Plains, NY you wouldn't expect his musical creations to be so heavily involved with hip-hop (or maybe you would these days), but it definitely is. The other member of the group is Cee-Lo who you probably won't remember from Goody Mob. A robust black man, his crooning can best be described as a good concoction of neo-soul and southern rap. Together, these two make tremendous music. It sounds a lot like Gorillaz, only better.
Suggested Tracks: Gone Daddy Gone, Just a Thought

1. Punchline - 37 Everywhere
Because at the end of the day, this album will always represent the kind of music I love and the kind of music that I will always identify the best parts of my life with. I've never talked about Punchline before, but they've been around since at least my high school days. Yet another Fueled By Ramen band, they've pretty much worked their way up the ladder of punk music to achieve a sort of dynamic mix of smart, energetic, poppy, and fun music that most bands should strive for. As far as FBR Records goes, you have your generic Fall Out Boy who created the sound, the Panic!At the Disco who took the sound, added some keyboards and longer hair, your Hush Sound who added a girl to the mix, and then somewhere in between there is Punchline, the perfect mix of the new sound of pop-punk majesty. Angry at times, joking at times. Just real good shit.
Suggested Tracks: The Getaway, The Fake the Snake and the Birthday Cake