I still love the Flyers

I know the Flyers have been going through some tough times lately, but why would anyone stop loving a team who brought us this:




(Please just close your eyes when you see Michael Handzus try to fight someone much smaller than him)

Corporate Culture

I feel like I might be too honest with people to work for a highly structured company when I graduate. It seems to me that the bureaucracy/nepotism/politics of most corporations make the environment such that stepping on toes is illegal and a good portion of your working life becomes saying the right things to the right people at the right times in order to get ahead or towing the company line even if you don't believe in it. This is no good because somewhere in my college career I became unable to bullshit with people in authority. If for some reason I find myself being dishonest with people I feel shitty about it, as if it's my job to be completely honest with whoever the other person may be. I also have a problem with unfairly addressing people's flaws to their face in an all too self righteous fashion.I don't trust myself to not slip and tell off a boss for being a tight ass or correct him for writing "there" instead of "their" or using an apostrophe at the wrong time.

The reason I say this is because the CEO at the company I work at recently approached my manager about the level of my voice when he says hello to me, and by "level of voice" I mean "disappearance of voice." Apparently he was a little bit perturbed when I failed to say hello to him not once but twice in the same night. I understand his philosophy of creating a friendly atmosphere where everyone says hello and knows everyone else's name (Cheers, Inc?), I just don't see the point in enforcing it with an iron fist, especially after just one incident. It just creates more and more anonymity until eventually everyone is scared shitless into never being genuine. Also, I should point out that I DID say hi. Both times. He's the fucking CEO, I'm not going to ignore him. I couldn't ignore him if I wanted to! Sure, it doesn't help that I hear horrible stories about this man which lead me to be less than chipper around him, but I hardly think that saying hello on any given night is something to be upset about at all or something to WASTE TIME talking to my manager about.

MORAL: Apparently there are some things at the professional level that are more important than DOING YOUR FUCKING JOB efficiently. There will be drama at the corporate level just like in high school.

People keep telling me "Tim, let it go, it's not a big deal, just say hi to him louder next time." Of course I'll say hi to him (hopefully he'll hear me this time) but the fact that it became an issue at all has me a little disappointed and a lot worried about having to work next year in a corporate culture with such fucked up priorities.

Stop Piracy

The Adventures of "That Guy"

I wore an old pair of falty corduroy pants to my Transitional Economies presentation today. Little did I know I did the presentation with my fly unzipped. Someone in the front row was happy to point it out to me.

Needless to say, hilarity DID NOT ensue.

Coffee

"I drink my coffee black because I understand what is. It's a drug just get it in me so I can start my day. If you drink enough coffee in the morning you actually like your job for a few hours."
-Marc Maron-

I think I'm addicted to coffee, and why shouldn't I be? It’s delicious and chock full of caffeine, my all-time favorite drug. In the summer when I woke up at ridiculous hours to work a bullshit job I remember having momentary lapses of judgment and spastic episodes on mornings when my dad woke up too late to make coffee (what, you expected me to get up early enough to make it?). Often times my friends would be the victims of my morning rages, which I'm okay with. What kind of friends would we be if we didn’t handle each others' ridiculous rages? The real problem in being addicted to coffee is that I'm not okay without it, and not in the spastic way. I'm talking about physically. I literally have headaches and hand tremors if I haven't had at least 16 ounces of black magic within an hour of waking up. I admit the problem could be much worse. I could be "self-medicating" with other, more illegal drugs, right? At least I drink it black which is something A. people seem to be unable to grasp, B. tastes wonderful, and C. keeps all that unnecessary junk like cream and sugar from screwing with my head any more than the coffee already does. Anyway, since I'm definitely not alone in feeling this way towards coffee I've become mostly okay with it. I figure I'll probably be this way for the rest of my life and if I can just keep my consumption to the mornings I'll be fine and stay rested without the terrible headaches.

The collateral damage I'm finding is that I've finally been brainwashed into going along with a corporate ad campaign. It’s hard to believe that someone like me who refuses to wear designer clothes or anything with any type of corporate insignia (A+F, etc.) because of the marketing implications has been duped by McDonalds Corp. of all the big names who are constantly making money from subliminal ad campaigns. I’m talking about the new "any size coffee for 69 cents" at McDonalds. Of course our dining hall has free coffee, but I swear to Christ they water it down so that we spend money at the on-campus Jazzman’s cafe'. I don't want free watered down coffee, I want that real kick in the groin black coffee. Yes, of course I’m talkin’ about McDonalds "Premium Roast." So I drive the whole three blocks to McDonalds most mornings for my coffee. The real brainwashing takes place when, despite my once dominant will power, I decide that I need either a breakfast sandwich or a cinnamon roll to help soak up the coffee. I don't even like McDonald's food. I justify these unforgivable acts of fatassery by reminding myself that I work in a gym and thus work out almost against my will most days, but the fact that I drive three blocks to get there certainly doesn't help me to feel better about myself.

Introducing Doctor Tom

It's not a joke. This Angry brother of mine might operate on your brain one day.

Support Our Troops...

by littering your vehicle with little fucking ribbon magnets.

Dear anonymous soldier,
Hey man, how's it going? Iraq must be a total bummer. I heard 'the man' denied your request for conscientious objector status. Not cool, bro. I can relate. The other day I tottally told my boss that I couldn't write his report because I didn't believe in the product. Fuckin' dude made me write it anyway. Oh well, whaddyagonnadoo? I just wanted you to know that I am ABSOLUTELY supporting you during this very lonely time by driving my Hummer around with a little yellow ribbon on it. You rock, bro. Shoot a fuckin terrorist for me, okay? JK, LOL, ROTFL, HAHA, HEHE
Cheers,
Jack Ass

Michael Irvin....

just told Mike Ditka that the Cowboys were the obvious choice for "best team in the NFL."

This isn't a pro-Eagles rant. I just think Michael Irvin is still on crack and I have no idea why Espn still lets him run his mouth on television. Let's face it, he's clearly considered espn's only connection with racist black players and that's the only reason he keeps his job. They need him because he's the only person TO will talk to.

All Wide Outs are delusional.

You Jackin It?

ZING!

- Jason Jones, Daily Show correspondent